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New: Introduction

♥ Name and Age: Lesley, 21

♥ Name and birthdate of your child/children: Kailey, nov. 2005

♥ Married/Partnered/Single?: Married to a US Marine

♥ What brings you to this comminunity? Looking for support, wanting to help others and not feel alone

♥ What do you do to try and help your PPD? I am on zoloft, i try to excersize a few times a week, and i write in my journal

♥ Is this your first time with PPD? Sorta, i had undiagnosed ppd when dd was 6 months, then is faded and now its back and i fianlly went to the doctor

♥ Do you have real life support? Yes i am currently living with my mom, my hubby is a few hours away but we still talk every day

♥ What do you hope to get from this community? friends, support

♥ Anything else you would like to share? not at this moment that i can think of just wanted to introduce myself

♥ Name and Age: Kayla, 20
♥ Name and birthdate of your child/children: Holly, Sept. 27th 2007
♥ Married/Partnered/Single?: In a relationship w/ my boyfriend
♥ What brings you to this community? To know that I'm not alone with how I'm feeling.
♥ What do you do to try and help your PPD? (exercise, eat healthy, medication, counseling...?) Talking about how I'm feeling usually helps.
♥ Is this your first time with PPD? Yes.
♥ Do you have real life support? Some, not much.
♥ What do you hope to get from this community? Advice and support from others, possibly.
♥ Anything else you would like to share?

Tags:

Today was a really rough day for me and I went off my zoloft this week because I lost my insurance and can't afford to buy it with out insurance. Anyone have any suggestions for other ways or assistance for stuff like that? Thanks.

Back

I've been absent all last week, too. My Mom, Gram and Aunt all came out to visit and see the kiddos and help out. I loved it. I wish they didn't have to leave. Everything went so much more smoothly when I had help during the day. Now I just feel stranded with the two kids. I hate living so far away from a family support system. We live in Washington. His family lives in South Dakota. My family lives in Pennsylvania. Ever since I got out of the military I don't have many friends around here, and the ones that I still talk to live at least an hour away - with one vehicle between the two of us, it makes getting out and visiting awfully hard.

The Zoloft is helping to balance out my moods and nights have slowly been getting easier. The fact that Breanne's sleeping from 11 pm til about 7 am has been really helping, too. Still, I can't help feeling alone. Am I just crazy?

Update

Sorry I've been absent the last few days. I hope everyone is doing well.
I went and saw my OB last Wednesday regarding my nightly panic attacks. As we all expected he upped my 50mg dose to 100mg. He also put me on Ativan temporarily to put an immediate stop to the attacks. At first I was wary about that. I thought they'd make me feel all zombie-ish and drowsy. I decided to try one on Thursday when my fiance would be home all day. I can't even begin to tell you how much of a difference they made. I had no ounce of a panic attack that night. He was able to lie down with the baby in our bed without me hyperventalating, etc. My OB wants me to take them for two months.then wean me off off them to see how the Zoloft has taken effect. I know lots of people are anti drug, but what a difference. these past few days have made with my bonding  process. I'm actually enjoying my daughter and that makes me so happy!

Hope everyone had a good weekend!
-Emily

Tags:

Bad nights

The last two nights have been really bad for me. For the last week or so I've been having mild panic attacks, but nothing a little relaxed breathing couldn't help. Although last night and tonight I'm not doing so well. I just get so freaked out because when I'm watching the baby I don't/can't sleep. My boyfriend can sleep through anything and he does. By the next day I'm so tired that all my patience is gone and I just feel so beat down. So at night my heart starts racing, I start sweating, and I have problems breathing and I just cry non-stop. 

My boyfriend has been sleeping with the baby out on the couch but he hands her off to me at around 3am and from then until morning I'm wide awake, and before that I'm awake panicking. I just feel so defeated. I think I really need to see my Dr sooner than later. I talked to my boyfriend last night about PPD and he said the standard 'everything will be ok in a few weeks, you'll see' stuff. I know he cares but he just doesn't get it. Today was his first day back to work after his leave and I was alone with her all day and was ok, I had a few frustrated moments, but mostly it was good. It's just at night when I start having problems.

I think I'll call my Dr tomorrow. I'm just a little embarassed to tell him, I've put up such a good front at all my post delivery appointments. As far as he's concerned everything is just dandy.

Tags:

New member intro

 ♥ Name and Age: Emily, 30
♥ Name and birthdate of your child/children: Georgia, 1 month
♥ Married/Partnered/Single?: In a relationship with my boyfriend
♥ What brings you to this community? I feel very detached from my baby, looking for advice, support, etc. I had a very difficult labor, cesarian, and recovery, so I think that could be the reason.
♥ What do you do to try and help your PPD? (exersize, eat healthy, medication, councelling...?)
I am on Xoloft, and I try to take a few minutes out every couple of hours to breathe.
♥ Is this your first time with PPD? Yes.
♥ Do you have real life support? My boyfriend is awesome with her, and I actually find myself resenting that a little. He's so bonded with her.
♥ What do you hope to get from this community? Support, advice, and understanding
♥ Anything else you would like to share? Just...hi.

and so the meds began

I started Zoloft on Wednesday. Even now I'm slowly starting to feel more levelled out. Not really numb, but more... emotionally balanced, I guess you could say. It's not a drastic change, but my husband has said I'm not crying as much and I'm not getting angry as much - or drastically switching between the two. And I'm noticing the little things, too. Last night, Breanne refused to fall asleep til 1 am. And I didn't get angry or frustrated like I normally would before. I was actually able to take a deep breath when I started feeling upset and move on with it. I even laid her on the floor and laid down with her and we had a "baby gab session" where she'd make a noise and I'd repeat it. She finally fell asleep - I guess Momma doesn't have too much interesting to say, haha!

I think eventually we'll be okay. I know it's still going to be rough going. My mother, grandmother, and aunt are coming out for a one week visit on Monday. It makes me a little nervous. I haven't told anyone in my family about being depressed. I guess I'm afraid they'll think I'm not as good a mother as they have been telling me I am. Or maybe they can tell something's off already and me telling them is just going to get me a "we figured as much" in response. At least my anxiety now is focused somewhere other than Breanne, I suppose. I know I want to talk to my mother about it, at least, but face to face. I just don't know how to bring it up. It's not as though Hallmark makes cards for these sort of occasions.

How did you ladies tell your loved ones (family members, friends), if you told them at all? Is it more of a personal matter that didn't need to be discussed unless someone specifically asked? Or is it something that your family and friends should know about?

Thank you for the wonderful support so far. :)
I got a phone call today from my O.B. doctor. I looked at my caller id and thought should I get it? I haven't felt as depressed lately. It might be cuz I haven't been around my husband that much. Well anyways I answered and they told me to come in to see my o.b. I went right away. I brought my letter with me. I couldn't get the guts to give it to him, but as we were waiting for helper to come sit with us he saw my paper and read it. I was kinda embarrassed. Ok so we got to talking. We realized the root of it all is me. He said I need to get over my anger towards my mother in-law. I was crying through the majority of our conversation. He gave me Prozac, well a generic called Fluoxetine 20mg. Do any of you take that one? He said I can still breastfeed while taking it. He's gonna step in and call my husband tonight. I'm not too sure what he's gonna tell him. He thinks we should take marriage counseling. I know my husband would never go for it. I wasn't sure if I should tell my husband that's he's gonna call. Well it's gonna be pretty soon. My o.b. said we need to eliminate both of our families. I told him I'm always at my mom's and my husband's always at his mom's on the weekends. He said I need to write down a list of things I can do to let the anger go. I haven't done it yet. I have to go back once a week to meet with him. I'm going to also meet with a counselor. He gave me a hug and told me I can call when ever I want.