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just feeling hopeless

Is it possible to have PPD even a year or more after you have a child?? Because lately, I can't help but feel that I would have been better off in life if I had an abortion at 2wks. These thoughts keep spiraling deeper and deeper, so much that sometimes I feel physically sick b/c of guilt. I cannot afford help, so I am seeking advice from ppl who have had these same thoughts before . . . .


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 6th, 2008 02:20 am (UTC)
onedayilldream - {{{hugs}}} to you. It must be awful to have the recurrent, scary thoughts you are having. I'm not sure if what you are experiencing is PPD, but it is an illness nonetheless. It may be depression, anxiety, or OCD. Whatever it is, you need help. Do you have insurance? If not, do you qualify for medicaid? There are free clinics in almost every city in America. Perhaps you could start at a Planned Parenthood? They might have some info for you. You could also try searching for "free mental health services in (your city)." You could also call a local hotline or look in your telephone book for information and services. Good luck... we are here to listen. You are not alone.
Feb. 10th, 2008 04:37 pm (UTC)
yeah there's insurance
But it's too much $$$! You pay so much every week, then the copay then the deductable, and it's just like ARGHHH!! That, and I guess I'm afraid to admit to my husband that I am really that unhappy. I really don't want to crush him b/c he has been trying lately.
Feb. 10th, 2008 08:03 am (UTC)
I have those feelings and my son is 20 months old... he also has some sort of disability that were battling clueless doctors over... urgh, it's really hard but yeah I feel that way!
Feb. 10th, 2008 04:35 pm (UTC)
thanks for responding
I think a lot of my anxiety stems from money issues b/c we weren't prepared for the lifestyle change I guess. That and I was close to getting an associates degree.

I'm so sorry about his disability, does it even have a name??
Feb. 10th, 2008 05:24 pm (UTC)
Re: thanks for responding
Well... we think it's autism, a severe bought of it, and ADD within it - or it's something else - he's 20 months but doesn't develop more than 11 months till as of recently so he still is very VERY behind...
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )


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